Reasons
by Steph's
Summary: Roy can't even focus anymore. Something is bothering him and Riza wants to know what it is. Royai.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Yeah, big surprise... :P

This is going to be a short Royai story and it takes place some time after Hughes has been killed. I promise I'll update regularly.

English isn't my first language, but I've studied it for years. If you find any mistakes in the text, please let me know. I won't be able to correct them, but I'll avoid making the same mistake again. Thank you!

This chapter is written from Roy's point of view.

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**Chapter 1 – ****Feeling Blue**

It was raining lightly when he left his home early in the morning. His black hair being blown by the wind, the heavy military coat protecting his skin from the day's work. Nothing more than that. Just like it was yesterday, just like it would be the next day. Dull.

- Good morning, Sir. – Said Lt. Hawkeye, when he entered the office.

- Good morning, Lieutenant.

Doing his job wouldn't be that bad if he could manage to focus on it easily. The problem was that some thoughts were bothering him lately. Thoughts about his blond Lieutenant. She was sitting on her chair, going through some paper work. Lt. Hawkeye would occasionally look away from the papers, just to check that the Colonel was really working.

Always taking care of him. Why would she do it so patiently? He had to admit that even he would have lost it already if he were in her shoes. There he was, procrastinating work again. His excuse for it was that he had suddenly felt an urge to organize the mess on his desk.

- A man can't get any work done in such a mess. – Roy complained to Havoc, when the second Lieutenant looked at him disapprovingly.

- Yeah, right... Sir. Try not making such a mess then.

Havoc definitely didn't seem to have bought that excuse. It didn't matter. He had figured out that Colonel Mustang just wasn't feeling like working, but would never guess why. Roy was actually finding it hard to concentrate with Riza there.

He liked her. That was no mystery to him. It was probably why any relationship he engaged in failed so soon. He was always trying to find a woman who could fill that gap in his heart. None of them could. The last date he had was three weeks ago. He had been seeing the same woman for 2 weeks already, when he decided that she didn't fill that gap either.

_- __It's not you, okay? – he told her, when he drove her home._

_- __Yeah. Nothing I haven't heard before. – she said, very annoyed._

_- __I mean it. It's me._

_- __You're in love with someone else. _

_- __Yeah._

_- __Then tell her, for crying out loud. What's wrong with you men? You love a woman, so your solution is to go out with other women? You won't get her out of your mind by dating around. _

_- Probably not._

- Sir?

- Hm?

- I need you to read this and sign it.

Roy finally got the document she had been holding in front of his face for about 10 seconds.

- Sir?

- Yes? – he asked, after signing the document without even reading it.

- Why don't you call in sick and take the rest of the day off? – asked Riza.

- Why would I do that?

- Because you're obviously not feeling well today.

- Going home wouldn't help.

- Neither would drinking. I've noticed you've been doing that more frequently these days.

- How can you tell?

- I can recognize a hung-over. I'd say you had more than one glass yesterday.

- I'm all right. I've just been feeling a little blue the last few days.

She didn't insist on the matter for the rest of the day. Great... Now she was worried that he had a drinking problem. Another not-so-nice thing to add to all the other bad personality traits and defects he had. And yet, she did not show any signs of judging him for that.

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All right, first chapter... I hope you enjoyed it. Please write a review. This is the first time I write a Fullmetal fanfic, so I could use an opinion. Thanks for reading and see you in the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

**Chapter 2 – Her Reasons**

He definitely looked like hell when he got to the office that morning. Riza was already there, revising some important paper work before she gave it to him to sign. It wasn't specifically her job to do so, but she guessed it would be important for him not to miss some details in the documents and as he had been distracted a lot the past few days, she wanted to make sure he wouldn't make any mistakes.

After all, everyone is entitled to have one of those days when all the electrical impulses coming from different parts of your body seem to get stuck in some sort of mental gridlock, before arriving in your brain. She just couldn't figure out what was causing his mental gridlock. Besides the drinking, of course. It was no secret that the Colonel enjoyed going out with friends or dates and drink a little too much sometimes, but he seemed to be exaggerating a bit recently.

- Good morning, Sir.

- Good morning, Lieutenant. – he answered.

He smiled slightly when he said it, but it was that kind of sad smile that makes you think what the person is trying to hide. If only Riza could understand what was bugging him. He took of his coat and sat by his desk with a cup of hot coffee. She couldn't help but notice he hadn't put any sugar on it.

He started to work. Riza was watching him. She knew he wasn't actually reading the documents. His eyes moved along the white pages, but he wasn't paying much attention. He looked away from his work and stared at her for a second. She looked at her own work again. Sometimes it's easier to pretend you don't care. She couldn't do it, though. That man had a dream that would probably change the lives of millions of people if it ever came true. She believed in him and more than that, she cared. She cared enough to remain in the shadows, always protecting him and scolding him for not doing what he was supposed to do. She was sure that he disliked that. Men like him don't like being told what to do, but he did need some scolding every now and then. She wanted him to succeed in his dreams, so she would tell him off when she thought it was called for, even though she didn't like doing it.

When he left work in the end of the day, she watched him go from the window. She would leave in about a second, but was a bit worried. As she expected, he left the building and turned right. If he were going home he would have turned left. He was probably going to have a drink. Why wouldn't he tell her what was wrong? Maybe all that formality in the office and her habit of scolding him didn't encourage the Colonel to open up.

She put on her coat and left. He might be having a drink in one of the bars around. She didn't know his favourite places, so she would have to take a look around. Riza could ask 2nd lieutenant Havoc or one of the other guys, but that would call attention to the fact that she was worried. If they noticed she was worried, they'd probably notice that something was wrong with him.

She entered a bar and looked around, but he wasn't there. She went in other places and it took her almost an hour to finally find the colonel. There he was, sitting by the counter, with a glass of vodka on his hand and hitting on the young brunet waitress, who seemed like she couldn't care less.

- You know she's probably around ten years younger than you, sir. – she said, sitting on the chair by his side.

- Lieutenant? What are you doing here?

- Having a drink. – she said, calling the waitress and asking for a fruits drink.

- I've never seen you drink before. – said Roy.

- I don't drink very often.

- And you just accidentally bumped into me today? – he said, a bit sarcastically.

She knew he didn't like it, but she needed to know why he had been so gloomy the last few days so she would have a chance to help him.

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**N/A: **Hello, guys! Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews! Please tell me if you find anything strange in my story. English is my second language (my first language's Portuguese), so I'd appreciate some help on that matter. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy this chapter. See you next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. I wish I did, though. It would be nice having money to buy a car and quit bothering my friends for car lifts all the time...

**Chapter 3 – His Reasons**

There he was, having a drink with the woman he loved. The only problem was that she was there for the wrong purpose. Probably to try to get some sense into him and make him start worrying a little more about his health.

- Why are you here? Really?

- I'm worried about you, Colonel.

- Oh, please. We're not working now and I'm drunk. You might as well call me by my first name.

- All right, Roy. What's bothering you?

- Should there be something bothering me?

- You've been... like you said... feeling a little blue.

- I guess I had a bad date. – he said, trying to put an end to the conversation.

It was actually that talk after the date which had triggered that mental gridlock state of his. It had dawned on him that he wouldn't just find someone to replace the woman he loved. He couldn't tell Riza that. It would be like a school boy telling his teacher about his silly crush. It would probably be the end of a nice working relationship and the start of an awkward situation.

- I know you. You don't just have bad dates and start abusing alcohol.

- You think I've been drinking that much?

- You know you are.

- I'll drink less as soon as I feel better.

- When is that going to be?

- Dunno.

- Then you'd better stop it while it's still your call.

- I'm not addicted.

- What is the problem? Really?

- Never mind. It's not important.

- I'm asking as your friend. I'm worried about you.

She was right. He had been drinking too much these days. He was trying to kill that hopeless feeling so he could move on to the next meaningless date, but so far he had not succeeded in doing so. Nonetheless, he asked the waitress for another glass of vodka. Riza didn't say anything about it.

- So? – she insisted, as he took a sip from his glass.

- Let's just say it's better if you don't know it. – he finally said.

Damn. That wasn't the best way to escape the conversation. Now she was sure that something was wrong. Alcohol never helped anyone think, anyway.

- What is it? You're not coming out of the closet or something, are you? – she said, laughing.

The joke actually made him feel better. She seldom made jokes, so she wasn't angry nor trying to get him to work, just worried about his well-being.

- Oh, yeah. I'll have the office redecorated tomorrow with pink wallpaper.

- It'll look disturbingly cute.

- Probably. – he said, taking another sip of vodka.

- Roy.

- Yes?

- Let's go.

- I haven't finished my drink.

- I know. You need a more cheerful environment. Why don't we take a walk around? Maybe you can walk that alcohol out of your system.

- Maybe.

She insisted in having a walk and he finally agreed. If he continued drinking he might say something that he'd regret later. They left the bar and walked down the street towards his apartment. None of them talked during the next 30 minutes, until they got to his building.

- Thanks for the walk home. – he said.

- Do you want me to make you some soup? You'll feel better.

- I'm okay. Thanks anyway.

- Sir?

- Yes?

- When will you thrust me enough to tell me what's been bugging you?

- It's not that I don't thrust you, it's just that... well...

Another side effect of alcohol, talking himself into corners. She looked at him, expecting he'd tell her something dramatic.

- I'm in love with a woman who doesn't have a clue about it. – he finally said it.

- Maybe you should tell her. – Riza said.

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N/A: All right people... this may not be a wonderful fanfic, but I'd really appreciate some more reviews. Anyway, thanks for reading so far. See you next time I update.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. I didn't want to, anyway... xp

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**Chapter 4 – Caring**

It was like being hit by an invisible brick. She would never have imagined that he loved someone to the point of feeling bad for weeks. The most annoying thing was that she could do nothing about it.

- Tell her.

- What's the point? I know she doesn't like me that way. – said Roy.

- How can you know? Maybe you got it wrong. You may think of yourself as a ladies' man, but you can't just figure out every woman in the world.

- I'd like to figure out you.

- I'm sorry? – she asked, clearly puzzled.

- Why are you so nice to me? You are always worried that I do my work on time, that I feel all right, everything.

If she just said she cared, it wouldn't be the true answer, but the best she could let herself give.

- I care about you. I see you, I still see that boy who came to my father's house years ago, so happy with the idea of learning alchemy.

That boy had grown up into a man. She was even surprised with how fast she could come up with that lie.

'_Great. Now I could just go in and hang myself...' _he thought_._

- Sir, is that woman you mentioned anyone I know? – she asked.

Riza was a bit afraid of the answer. She didn't feel comfortable about the topic, but managed to hide all that behind the serious look. Roy sighed, looking hesitantly at the door handle.

'_What the hell... if it turns bad I'll blame it on the alcohol. If I don't do this, I won't function anymore._'

- Yes, it is. And I hear she's got a very good aim.

Riza blinked for a second. The colonel used to make jokes about her almost perfect aim. Who was he talking about? Could it be her? Maybe he was just drunker than she had expected.

- Sir... Are you by any chance talking about me? – she asked.

- I guess... – he said.

It was useless to say 'I guess' since the answer was obviously 'yes', but he couldn't help it. Riza looked in his eyes for a second, but he avoided her stare. It was difficult to believe that after all she had bugged and scolded him he liked her that way. She had always assumed that the reason he would accept her eventual insubordinations was because they've known each other since they were kids.

- Well, if you'll excuse me... – Roy started saying, opening the door.

- Sir.

- Yeah...

- Thanks for telling me.

- Okay.

He just mumbled 'good bye' and went inside. She went home, thinking about what he had said. So he actually liked her? She was definitely confused and trying to mentally scan all the days they had spent together working, searching for signs she had missed. She couldn't remember anything different, but knew he wouldn't lie about something like this.

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**N/A:** Hello, people! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I'm in the last year of college and it's driving me nuts! Thank you very much for the reviews last chapter. I hope you like this one. Thanks for reading and see you next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA. You don't either! XP

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**Chapter 5 – Inappropriate, yet comforting**

He was surprised to find out he was feeling better the other day. At least her reaction to his words wasn't bad. She didn't shoot him, which was a good sign.

'She said thanks...' he thought.

That was odd. But now she would probably treat him differently. He tried to think about something else as he took a shower and shaved. He ate a toast quickly and left for work.

She was already in the office, working, as usual.

- Good morning, Sir. – she said, with a smile on her face.

- Good morning, Lieutenant.

There was a difference. An unexpected one, though. She had smiled and that was a relief. It meant she wasn't angry about the drunken romantic words last night. It didn't tell him much about how she felt, but at least she wasn't mad at him.

He did his best not to avoid work that day and when it was five o'clock and he put on his coat, Riza stood up and grabbed hers.

- Sir, would you mind if I walked you home? I need to speak to you.

- Not at all, Lieutenant. – he said, so the others around them wouldn't find it strange.

They left the building and Roy was feeling uneasy. She was certainly going to talk about the other day. At this point of the day, after she continued to treat him like she always did, but maybe not so formal as usual, he had no idea what she was going to say.

- Sir, about yesterday...

- I was drunk.

- Not that drunk.

- You're right. – he admitted.

- You're my boss. We just can't have a relationship right now.

- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you.

- It's a good thing you did. I'm here to help and protect you so you can go on with your dream. I can't forget about my duties now and you can't rest until you find out who killed Hughes.

- The conspiracy in the army. I wonder how many people are involved.

- Let's deal with this problem first, okay? – she said.

- What do you mean first?

Riza smiled at him. He wasn't too bright sometimes.

- After we get this problem solved, we can think about it. You know.

- You mean it?

- You think I'd lie?

- No, you wouldn't.

- But for now we have to keep going.

He looked behind him and saw the door of his building. They were finally there.

- You have no idea how grateful I am for your support. – said Roy.

He looked around and didn't see anybody. The sky was cloudy and most people were home. The street was empty.

- I hope you won't shoot me for this. – he said, before kissing her lips.

It felt totally inappropriate, yet comforting. And he could tell by the way she kissed him back that she would not shoot him.

-THE END-

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All right, it was just a short story. I hope you liked it. Please review, and let me know your opinion! If you think my story sucks, tell me! If you think it was a good story, tell me! Well, that's it then. Kisses from Brazil and see you some other time! ; D


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